Book Club Discussion Guide

Book Club Questions

(Thank you, Angela Jackson!)

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In Mary’s early days of sobriety, she notices wine and alcohol everywhere—on TV, in newspapers, in grocery stores, in restaurants, referenced on T-shirts, napkins, and birthday cards. Do you feel we are surrounded by alcohol? Does it entice you to drink more?

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When Mary begins sharing her sobriety journey with her former drinking friends, many of them question their own drinking habits. Did you also question your relationship with alcohol while reading this memoir?

How did it make you feel when Mary learned that her parents weren’t planning to visit her in the hospital after her accident in Ireland? Have your parents or someone you love ever let you down in a crisis? 

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During Mary’s long recovery in the Irish hospital, she is visited by Sister Maleki. Do you think this was a hallucination?  Have you ever been visited by a spirit in times of need? 

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When Mary finally shares her new sobriety with her father, she is disappointed by his lack of questions and reinforcement of her decision. Have you ever shared something serious with your parents or partner and felt disappointed by their response? 

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Mary severs her ties with her first AA sponsor, Elaine. While this wasn’t easy, it was necessary for her to progress in completing her steps. Has anyone in your life ever stopped contributing value to the relationship you once had? If so, how did you navigate this challenge? 

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Mary attributes her “Fun Mary” persona to alcohol. Does “Fun Mary” ‘die,’ as the narrator fears, or does she evolve into “Sober Mary” or perhaps an entirely new Mary? 

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Toward the end of the book, Mary pieces together the various elements of her parents' tragic childhoods. Through this process, she realizes that their love for her was always there, even if they did not express it in the ways she expected. Her second sponsor, Lena, warns her, “Expectations are resentments waiting to happen.” How does this resonate with your own life?  

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Mary reminds us that we are the “primary agents in our lives” and that, if necessary, we can have a “do-over” to live our authentic lives with integrity. Is there any aspect of your life you would like to redo? Is something holding you back?

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